Super Street Fighter IV

I just tried to download the Resurgence map pack for Modern Warfare 2 and it didn't work so I am going to play the pixel junk shooter demo that I downloaded yesterday instead. Today's experience is going to be about Super Street Fighter IV. The third level of pixel junk shooter is where I am. I know that games like this start simple and get harder with each level, it is the designers' way of lulling the audience into a false sense of complacency, after which very tricky situations are presented which I should know how to deal with them already. In this game I have to fly around a 2 dimensional cave world and rescue trapped minors, kind of like West Virginia in space, only there are laser turrets and weird creatures trying to kill me. I have to shoot them with my guns and missiles, but if I kill an innocent miner, it's just too bad for that person's family, I guess. The game is only interesting because of how strange the controls are. The right analog stick controls where my offense fires, but it only jerks around in random spins and never really goes where I want it to. I will play this game until I get frustrated and die. Oh great, giant crab spider monster. Do not get hit by the spider's leg and do not go into the lava. To be continued... It was only a demo. I think the real game is $5. So let me try to buy the map pack again, and then I will stand up to physically place the SSFIV disc into the PS3.
An error has occured. (80023102)
My first encounter with such an error. Very damaging to my faith in the Playstation Network, which so far has been very kind to me. The funds could not be added to your wallet. This is just as if not more frustrating than any actual game could be. I am using the PS3's internet browser to search for the error it gave me, and of course, the PS3's internet browser cannot display the Playstation Network's own message boards. Kind of like how Google's browser, Chrome, can't display embedded youtube videos, even though Google owns youtube. Oh, Here is a story from May, when the first map pack came out, about how heavy traffic broke the Playstation Network's online software store and produced this error.
Okay I have my Ritz and cheese and water. I am ready to play a videogame. Now I am using a big "Fighting Stick 3", which an arcade-style joystick and 8 buttons instead of a little controller. I should practice a little before I start doing anything serious. The intro cinematic is playing now, it is 2 grown men fighting eachother and there are black and white wavy lines flying all around them. One is American and blond, the other is Japanese and he has dark hair. The only strange thing about what is going on here is that these two men are clearly fighting by a beach, or outdoors, and not on the street. I am not good enough with Sagat, which is a shame because I wish I was.
I was wrong. This game is the most frustrating thing in the entire world. The small number of "Battle points" that I remember accumulating from my one online win are totally gone from constantly being depleted after too many losses. After a little bit of training, which is attacking a lifeless opponent, and some trials, which is inputting a series of, at first easy but increasingly impossible button combinations, I try to play online versus other people who either do this all day or are beginners like I am. I lose two street fights by an invisible amount of health with Sagat. I try to play against someone from Greece. You can see where your opponent is located via a little flag next to their name. Mine says I am from the USA even though I am in Japan, because my account is registered in the USA. I need to choose a new character. I choose Sakura, who is a girl in a high school uniform. Her skirt is very short and you can see her thighs. Her thighs have thighs. Thighs are the main point of this game. I am fighting Juri. Juri is evil, you can tell by her outfit and mannerisms. People who play as Juri are too. I do a super move. No an ultra. These change the camera angles and are extra dramatic. Just getting it to connect is enough for me, but I lost, badly. I had poor timing and I misjudged when my opponent would stand up. This next person is from Hong Kong. Now I have to fight Ibuki who is a ninja girl, in West Asia, on the street. I have absolutely no skills. People get points for beating me even though I have none. Now I have to fight T Hawk, who is a racist idea of a native American. Each round I unlock a new costume color or taunt. This person is from France. I can't be Sakura. I have to be Dhaslim, the Indian Yoga master. Another Juri. I win one game. It doesn't matter. It's the most demoralizing thing a person can do - play this game alone, by myself, in my house, against someone else, who is also alone, who I can't interact with at all. I only bought this game to play with my girlfriend. It's much more fun to sit next to someone and play.
I am waiting for my American opponent to start a game. He doesn't so I try to find another. I want to win at least 1 match. Now a Japanese player. He chooses Ken, the blond character from the opening. Why am I still being Dhaslim? He is the slowest character in the game. Back to Sakura. I am fighting someone from the UK who is playing as Guile, the American soldier with a blonde flat top haircut. I am hopeless. I must have plaid ten matches, without winning 1.
Yes finally I win a match versus a Ken, who is from Japan, with an ultra move. It took all of my aggression and frustration to get here. +70 battle points and +75 player points. The key is to stay very close and never get too far away. Maybe one more. Fists will fly at this location. Pointless. Most people take this game very seriously. I do not think I am one of them. But I wish I was.
I try to buy the map pack and game that I want, called Infamous, from the Playstaion store. It doesn't work.