Too much has already been said about this game, but I will add anyway. This game is terrible. In addition to that, it is aware that it is terrible, and uses this self-knowledge to make a spectacle of itself. I am playing through the game for the second time. I can get new cool weapons this way, even though I was told very early on in my mission that engaging with the enemy is to be rejected in favor of sneaking around, crawling on my belly, in the shadows, blending in with the environment, and putting bad guys to sleep with tranquilizer guns. Right now I am trying to avoid being detected in a rebel base, because I haven't found the rebel uniform yet, which will confuse all of the rebels into thinking I am one of them. I have to play a little further to meet Drebin, who is a blonde haired black man who sells and "unlocks" guns and has a monkey that wears a diaper, drinks soda and smokes cigarettes. Once I get to Drebin I think I can buy guns at any point in the game, which is important because I want this one stun gun that is also a sniper rifle. I will need this if I want to beat the game without killing anyone, which is I think what I am trying to do. It is very possible that I only got noticed once and killed no people so far. I don't think I have the shotgun I want? I also don't remember how to choose the right ammo. I am just going to try to sneak through here without getting caught now. Ah someone saw me. It's ok I put him to sleep with the V-ring shotgun ammo. See, he has little Zzzzs he's not dead.
Okay, so right now I am in a cardboard box. This is where I am most comfortable. 55 Seconds until I am out of caution mode and I can keep going. Someone saw me. It was a mistake. Wonderful, I forgot I had the Middle Eastern disguise the entire time! Will these guys know I am Old Snake? "oh, you again," he says to me. All of his comrades are asleep in the other room because of me. Maybe they are up by now. Since I beat the game already, I have the formal suit and tie. The tie has a little tie clip on it. Can it be Drebin time? His big armored car says "EYE HAVE YOU" for no reason. This almost-pun is repeated throughout the game. Now I am watching a "cut-scene". This is where the vast majority of this game spends its time. I can skip it, but there's plot! And dialogue! And maybe momentary flashbacks to one of the other 3 Metal Gear Solid games that I can see if I press the right button at the right time!
Pause. Skip.
What's your take on him, Otacon?
Otacon is the biggest joke in the game. I hate him. The less said about him, the better. Skip.
Pause. Skip.
Now Loading...
At last, the gun I have been waiting for. The Mosin-Nagant, a modified sniper rifle that can make people Zzzz instead of die. It's blue so I know what's up. I buy it. I should buy some Emotion Rounds too. These are emotional bullets that can make my enemies do weird things. This game is weird, okay? And not that good.
Oh, the guy shitting his pants scene. This guy is a major part of the plot. Seriously. And don't think that him shitting his pants all the time is a running gag. It only goes on for 75% of the game.
Save.
Turn off system.
I have to wait 24 hours to check my playstation account again, since Sony's customer service people told me I was locked out.
A little more about this game, I guess. It was the only time I have ever been playing a game and thought, about a cinematic cut-scene, "Wow, it would be cool if I could play a videogame like that." This makes it a postmodern masterpiece of BS. I read this somewhere and it stuck with me. Now supposedly in the next game, you get to play as Raiden, and it's no longer Tactical Espionage Action but instead Lightning Bolt Action, and do stuff like this, but it's a prequel, so who cares?
MGS4GOTPTEA is constantly making fun of the player, and by that I mean me, personally, for having bought it and for devoting time to it. It is everything a game can be but nothing that it should be. If you watch the video in that last link, you should be aware that this game has something in common with Super Street Fighter IV (4): it is mostly about thighs. Huge, bulging, impossible thighs that can only be imagined and constructed with polygons by the most state of the art technology from several years ago. If you watch it to the end, you will also hear and read what is one of the best lines in the game and quite representative of the entire experience:
"He needs a blood transfusion....
No, an infusion of artificial blood...."
It should be no surprise that this game is considered one of the best titles for the PS3. There are people who get paid to play games all day and write about them who have put together more than a few lists which even fairly recently declare this to be the #1 best game for the platform. Keep in mind that this is the 3rd sequel to a game that is a generational followup to a series of games that is literally as old as I am, and that if you aren't a dedicated follower of the storyline throughout each single game, you will not only have no emotional investment in the trials and tribulations of the bland, silly characters, you will have no idea what is going on at all.
But it looks nice.
It looked, well, crappy when I had to just play it for a half hour, because I was underground or in a collapsed building and the only way to know where I was going was to use the Ultraviolet sensor, which made everything that wasn't a wall look like a giant white glowing shape. But that is part of how Hideo Kojima, the bastard who made this a reality, has his tongue permanently adhered to the inside of his cheek. Metal Gear Solid 4 is a five day joke without a punchline. Actually, the punchline has to be that you just sat through a week-long joke.
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